This blog here is for all my fellas out there. Whether you're trying to get a date or your dick wet the following pick up lines will get you neither of the two.
5. When are you gonna take me out? ( This here never works. Why? Because when a guy says that to me the dollar signs automatically get replaced with the image of the Monopoly man pulling empty pockets out of his pants. All in all I'm thinking you're broke or cheap ass won't even get a sarcastic response back to that line.)
4. Where are you from? ( Last week while in Miami I swear every other man that tried to approach me had that same question. Is that seriously all you got buddy? Ur not getting any play just because you didn't even try to be clever. Brain Stimulation is a MUST in my book!)
3. Can you give me directions, better yet can you take me there? ( No asshole! As I walk into the mall do I look like I wanna turn around get back in my car and take a stranger somewhere out of my way?!!! My question to you is what moron did that line work on that you even thought it was a good idea to use it again???????!!!!)
2. Did anyone ever tell you, you look like (insert celebrity name here). ( Would I be standing here looking at you if I thought I had a career in show buisness?)
1. Yoooo Ma! You got a fatty!!!! ( Because apparently I wasn't aware I had a fat ass and needed you to remind me, This line right will never work because I know you've seen nothing but my ass and have no interest in what any other part of me is about, this leads me to imagine the trash you might have fucked with before all bcuz she had a fat ass.)