Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Your thoughts..My advice

Hey Jen,
This is (blank) again.The way I put it was kinda confusing because I just started to type everything that was on my mind at that moment.Lol.Let me start over.
I went out with this guy named Joseph last year for 3months.I met him at school,we had the same class.During our relationship everything was great,sort of. I would ask him sometimes if he wanted to chill with me at some of my friends parties.But his response would always be "no,you go ahead and have fun.". At the time I really didn't care if he said no or not I was just trying to be nice.Beside while I was going out with him, around that time of year I just wanted to be single.However I thought he was really cool, respectful, funny and he was feelin me.He would call me alot and we would talk for hours.We both are the flirty type,so when we would be at school in our class, I would try not to flirt with other guys in front of him..Out of respect.But sometimes when I would see him he would be flirting with several girls.My friend Natalie, who was in our class, knew about me and Jo. So she would always assume he was cheating.Once again at that time I didn't care. So during our school break which was late December early January, I started to have feelings for him. When we got back to school on Jan 7th everything was ok. Then a week later, after our class had ended that day, he pulled me aside and goes,"I think we need to take a break." Being me and trying not to show my feelings I said ok and smiled..I know dumb move! Then he tries to explain himself by saying,"I feel like I'm holding you back". In my head I'm going this is bulls%$#! He just wants to date another girl. All of a sudden my friend Natalie pops out of nowhere trying to crack a joke on Joseph. But I just wasn't feeling the atmosphere so I just walked away. As I'm walking I could hear him say,"Wait!", but I just kept it moving. I'm not gonna front, I was hurt...A couple of weeks go by and I decide to go out with my friend that I have known for about a year. His name is Sean. I thought Sean was the best. My mind didn't even think of Joseph anymore,even though me and Joseph still had the same class. [Sean went to a whole different school than me.] Around June I started to feel like I wanted to be single again, so me and Sean broke up, but we said we will get back together soon. Back when I was going out with Sean, me and Joseph would still talk as friends. I thought everything was ok until I started to notice that everytime I would tell Joseph about Sean he would start to bad talk him. When I told Joseph that me and Sean had broke up he was excited,I could hear it in his voice.Now Joseph says things as if he is comparing himself to Sean. He says thing like,"Who has the better body?,What does he look like is he better than me?". Oh,and he also asked me one time if I was going to get back together with Sean anytime soon?. I told him idk. I saw him about two weeks ago because he wanted to chill. We started to talk about all the old times when we were together. I asked him about why he broke up with me and he said he felt like I didn't care about him because I didn't show him any feelings.Now I'm not one to just show my feelings just like that,I mean i had just met him at the begining of the school year. He also said my reaction was as if it didn't phase me. He said that even though he was trying to break up with me he ended up feeling hurt. On the flip side we started to talk for about 5 hours,we cuddled and yadda yadda yadda. I started to feel for him again.Then he asked me if I still liked Sean.I said yeah a little.So then he asked me,"If i was to ask you back out again would you go back out with me?". My response was "idk". I told Natalie all these things but she keeps giving my back and forth answers. One minute she would be like,"He's an asshole.He's cheating. You should dump him!" ,but thats only when things between me and Jospeh are going good.Then she'll turn around and say,"Even though he flirts with girls he doesn't want to be with them.He knows a catch when he sees one.You guys make a cute couple together." She says that when me and Jospeh have beef with each other. Joseph doesn't like Natalie at all! And Vice versa. So here I am stuck in the middle of knowing who to believe and who not to believe. Even though I still like him(alot) I don't want to look like an idiot if I go back out and he is fooling around. But at the same time I don't want to listen to Natalie then wonder what could have been. Should I go back out with him or just let it go and move on?
P.S. Sorry about it being super long but there is alot of back information to go through in order to understand the full story.I hope I did a better job at explaining this time.Lmao!

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Advice: So here's the thing chicky, it sounds to me that you just need to be SINGLE!!!! You're in highschool, there is really no reason to be in any type of committed relationship, especially when you're liking two guys at once. And to be honest there's nothing at all wrong with that! You're gonna have your entire life to be in a settled relationship! Use this time to enjoy liking different boys, dating and just making out! Thats what your highschool and college years are for. Get to know yourself and what kind of guys you like and dislike.
As far as Joseph asking all those questions about Sean.. thats just a young boys insecurities he wants you to make him feel like his shit can't compare to Sean's at all. If you like him enough stroke his ego and tell him how hot he is, if not just igg those corny comments.
And for your girl Natalie don't even pay any mind to homegirl she's the same age as you and probably just as confused with her own love life! One thing my mom always taught me was to follow your heart it will never steer you in the wrong direction!
xoxo JTP

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